Week 4 in China

We have officially hit the one month mark.  Many things are much easier than they were three weeks ago.  When we first came, I wondered what we had done.  There were serious doubts on every front.  Now, I still have some really rough days but there are good days as well.  I have tried to document the craziness of what we are experiencing and not dwell on the many tears.  At the same time, I don’t want to sugar coat how difficult this time has been.  I have seen growth in myself, in my husband, and in my children, that is only obtained through the refining fire of challenges. 

In many ways we have been stripped down to our very core.  Honestly, we have learned some things about our foundation as a family that has left us desiring more.  We are having talks, as a family, that wouldn’t have taken place had we not traveled through this past month.  We are learning about how we react, how we pull together, how we tear apart, and how we treat each other.  Marcus and I not being immune.  It has been humbling.  In the end, we hope it will change our family for the better permanently. 

So, as with every week, I can’t document this week without documenting the crazy stories.

Monday our Ayi cooked fish.  Asian style.  My kids were horrified by the entire fish sitting in front of them.  To this point, they happily assumed that the fish in the tanks at the store were for pets (even though I try to tell them, it has been beyond their imagination).  My kids all enjoy the fish I cook in the US.  They were not going near this fish in front of them.  It is a little eerie to have the eyes staring back at you.  The next problem is that we had purchased some jalapeno peppers for some homemade salsa we made on Sunday and there were two very large jalapeno peppers left in the fridge.  The Ayi is from a providence in China known for spicy food and was thrilled that we could eat them.  She cut them both up, seeds and all, and cooked them with the fish.  Nobody at the table was going to touch the food. 

Marcus had already declared that he would be calling the local Papa Johns for pizza (yes they have one and other than being double the price in the US, it is authentic).  I decided to be a good example and give the fish a try.  I took a very tiny piece of fish and was careful to avoid any of the little bones.  I took a bite and quickly realized that it was still full of bones.  I couldn’t believe it.  I was desperately trying to get the bones out of my mouth but ended up swallowing one. 

The bone lodged in my throat.  It was awful.  I already have a strong gag reflex but of course, being pregnant, that reflex is intensified.  I quickly realized that I might throw up.  This was big.  In our entire marriage, I have thrown up twice.  That is right, 10 ½ years of marriage and twice.  I do not throw up.  I have been nauseous for days but just don’t throw up. Don’t you worry, we hit three.  It was awful.  And, of course, the bone was still stuck.  It eventually came out but my throat was sore the next day.  I am officially done with fish in China.  And I think I sealed the deal for my entire family (so lame since I was trying to do the exact opposite and help them keep an open mind).  Oh well.  You win some and you lose some. 

Also on Monday, Paige and I met some branch members at a play area inside a mall.  They really have cool play areas here.  They all charge and are not cheap but they are like a mini carnival for younger children.  Paige loved it and had a great time.  They have a trampoline, slides, bounce houses, sand boxes (but with some kind of brown rice or seed instead of sand), lego areas, tunnels, swings, cars, and merry go rounds.    One we went to two weeks ago that even had airplane rides, like at trafalga. 

On Tuesday I let Ainsley stay home from school.  She had been fighting a cold and really was pretty miserable at school on Monday.  Of course, she ended up being fine the entire day.  Mid-morning, I decided we could use a little outing and decided to go check out a movie store a little further away.  A friend guided me there on the electric bikes.  We arrived to find the outside street crawling with cockroaches.  They were huge and they were all over.  It was so nasty.  I had a long skirt on so was terrified that one would grab my skirt and start crawling up.  Shudder.  We (me, Paige, and Ainsley) were hopping around and I couldn’t even stop to put the bike lock on.  Our friend, who isn’t bothered at all, finally did it for us.  She kept kicking the cockroaches and then they would land and start running in whatever direction they landed.  It gives me the shivers just thinking about it again.  Quite a bit of excitement for a simple movie store outing.  Honestly, the movie store was about the same as the one close to us, probably a bigger selection, but my experience was definitely tainted and I will be sticking with the one close to us and cockroach free (at least in my mind).

Wednesday was a yucky day.  It was just one of those days.  Marcus had to leave extra early to work so I had to wake Paige up early to walk the kids to the bus stop at 7am.  I also had my first appointment at the hospital for the baby.  Anything to do with the baby in China comes with anxiety.  It is just not ideal.  As I am getting ready to leave I realize Paige isn’t feeling well.  I think she has Ainsley’s cold.  We walk out the door when the driver arrives and he is smoking, of course (because everyone in China smokes- they haven’t heard of lung cancer I guess) and we are off in a smoke filled car.  Traffic is bad and Paige is saying she is going to throw up.  Luckily, she didn’t.  Honestly, I was feeling car sick by this point from the smell and the traffic.  30 minutes later we arrive.

Have I mentioned that we are a freak show in China?  Oh yes.  I think every week.  Well, we still are.  I show up at the hospital and it immediately begins.  “Oh she is so darling!” “Look how cute!”  “Come give me a hug baby!”  Paige was not in the mood and neither was I.  We pay first.  It was eight kuia.  The equivalent of maybe $1.25 in USD.  Then we wait in line for the pregnancy doctor.  Again, freak show.  This time both of us.  The women here are the size of Reagan with teeny bellies.  I am a giant.  I am a foot taller than anyone and my belly, at 29 weeks, is at least double the size of anyone else’s.  Awesome.  Lots of people watching us.  Then it is our turn.  There is the doctor sitting at the desk and a girl at the computer next to her.  The translator, Becky, is with me and another hospital employee has joined because “Paige is so cute”.  They start asking questions. 

(Becky knows me and my family because she did a tour of the hospital with us last week.  But no one else knows anything about me.)

Becky translating for the doctor: “Do you remember the day you gave birth to your first child?”

Me: “As in her birthday? Yes.” And I tell them

Becky:”Do you remember the birth of your second child?”

Me: “Yes.” And I give them the next date. The three other ladies start chattering.

Becky: “Do you remember the birth of your third child”

Me: “yes.”  Again, I tell them.  The chattering starts getting louder and there is incredulous laughter.

Becky: “Do you remember the birth of your fourth child?”

Me: “Yes.” The chattering is now loud and full laughter.

Next I had to answer, in the same fashion, for each of the baby’s weights.  Awesome.  I have had two babies that have been over 10 lbs.  Another round of lots of laughter. 

Sometimes I get the humor.  This day, I was not in the mood.  I didn’t want to be the freak show.  I just wanted to be normal and be treated like a normal person.  I have never had an experience like this before.  It made me realize that others around me, maybe those with disabilities or abnormalities probably face this regularly.  It has been on my mind through the rest of the week. 

They asked my height but they couldn’t convert it (yes, even though a computer is sitting right there, they cannot convert it… are you seeing the confidence I have in delivery?) The doctor had me stand up and then gave her best guess on my height compared to hers.  What?!  It was crazy. 

I told them I would only allow a blood pressure, urine, and heartbeat appointment.  They still ended up drawing blood but I refused the ultra sound and the HIV test and the liver test.  This baby hates to be pushed on.  It has been that way from the beginning.  I have never had a baby be like this, but he is.  In my ultrasound in the US the doctor was amazed at how the baby would move away from him.  Anyhow, the doctor is pushing quite hard to figure out where to look for the heartbeat and the baby starts moving.  It took her quite a while to find it because, well, the baby was moving.  I wasn’t nervous, more annoyed, because I could feel all the commotion she was causing inside.  Afterwards the translator told me that the doctor said the heartbeat is good but the baby moves a lot because my uterus is loose from all the babies I have had, but it will be fine.  That was her expert medical opinion.  Me and my loose uterus.  Again, my confidence is soaring.  At least the appointment is almost over.

 I have to get my blood drawn and do a urine sample. But first pay again. This time it is 52 kuai.   $8.40 USD.  Luckily, the blood draw doesn’t bother me and I have good veins so that is easy.  And the urine… well I had a friend tell me a trick so I am prepared.  I have already peed in a normal size disposable cup on my sitting toilet at home and brought it with me in a bottle.  I take the medicine cap they give me and happily enter the squatting toilet bathroom.  Paige comes with me.  We open the bottle, pour in the pee, flush the toilet and are done.  All smiles this time.  Best advice ever!

And we leave.  Catch a taxi (craziest driver yet and of course no seatbelts so I am praying the entire ride home that we will arrive safely).  Traffic is still wild but this driver makes it home in record time. 

I arrive home to the landlords which is an entirely different mess, and one I did not want to deal with but that was what I did the rest of the day until 7pm that night.  They did remove one dead rat from under my kitchen sink cabinet which was causing a terrible smell so at least something good came from the day. 

Thursday and Friday the kids are on break.  It is some holiday here.  Not even sure what.  But I am grateful for the break and so are the kids.  The school day is too long here.  We are still not used to it.  I woke up sick on Thursday but was grateful for Marcus being home ½ of the day to lighten the load and allow me to rest. 

The last story I have is from today, Friday.  We have a little pond in the backyard and we originally opted to keep it empty so it wouldn’t be a water risk.  Unfortunately, it gets super dirty and still fills up from the rainwater so we decided to fill it up and get some fish so it will stay cleaner.  This has been an exciting decision for the entire family.  We have never had anything like this and even learned there is a little waterfall feature.  It will be fun to have the fish also.  We decided to go get the fish this morning as our family outing.  We catch a taxi and quickly arrive at the store.  Almost immediately I start feeling sick.  Pregnancy sick.  With both boys I have had difficult pregnancies and tons of dizziness and sickness the entire time.  I just don’t feel well.  So one of the spells starts in.  I start feeling light headed.  The problem in China is there is nowhere to sit.  It is super-hot and humid and there is no shade.  The streets/sidewalks/ and stores are all pretty dirty and nasty.  You don’t sit on them.  Unless of course you are me.

I start realizing that I may pass out.  I am holding on to Marcus and he is still deciding on fish with the kids.  I finally get his attention that I really am going to pass out.  I start to walk out of the little shop and realize I have to sit.  So I do.  On the nasty stairs.  And it isn’t enough.  My vision is starting to go into a little tunnel and I know that I will pass out.  I have to lie down.  I quickly remember my bag and lay it down first and then lay my head on top of it.  Thank goodness I was able to keep conscience.  I am sure I was a sight.  Laying on this nasty floor in the middle of the shops of China.  I started to feel better so they quickly purchased the fish and then the girls flagged down a taxi.  I had to take it easy the rest of the day.  So now our little pond has a few bright orange fish and two black sucker fish to keep it clean.  Hopefully they live. 

We also now have a rat.  Reagan, Marcus and I have all had encounters with the rat.  After the rat scared Marcus half to death (and made him yell out loud) it was granted a name.  Renaldo.  We have traps set (wire cages and glue traps) but so far he is smarter than we are.  We check for poop every morning and I refuse to go downstairs at night.  We did find the hole where we are pretty sure he is coming through.  It is a 4 inch diameter hole directly to the outside.  The Landlords said they will fix it but that means in the next several weeks, if we harass them often.  I have asked around and no spray foam here in China.  For now, we are very cautious each time we descend the stairs in the morning and are very grateful for the Ayi that cleans really well every other day. 

Never a dull day in our lives currently.  For someone that is perfectly content to be at home and working in my yard or kitchen I am not sure I will last for two full years of daily wild adventure.  One day at a time I guess.

And that is week 4.